VDAY 2015

Happy Valentine's Day my little cupcakes. Tonight I learned how to fall in love with myself. For many years, I've hated this holiday. Maybe it's because I've been a bitter single lady for most of this time, and yeah sure. I'll admit that now. Or maybe it's because I hate seeing all the couples post the same shit on Instagram. Or maybe it's because I got dumped on this holiday before! Who knows. But for the most part, I don't really celebrate this holiday.

But this year, I decided to take advantage of this holiday of love to make an attempt to fall in love with myself. I've struggled with insecurities and lack of self esteem and I still do. But I've always longed to accept myself for who I am and really love myself. So I set up a romantic date for myself. Flowers, bath with rose petals, chocolate covered strawberries, and apple cider (since I have no access to wine at the age of 20). I put on my favorite music and soaked in the silent bliss of my own thoughts and reflections.

And you know what? This Valentine's Day turned out to be the best one yet. I realized that I'm proud of who I've become over the last few years. Sure, I still struggle day to day with negative thoughts I bring upon myself but I'm still fighting through that and realizing that I am more than what I perceive myself to be. I'm better. Taking one hour to close my eyes and soak up the darkness, I really did find love for myself. And I'm proud.

I'm proud to know that I don't need anyone. I don't need to depend on someone to make me happy. I'm absolutely happy by myself and for me, that's a huge stepping stone. A few years back, I remember saying that my greatest fear was "being alone." That's no longer true. I'm happy being alone. And I'm happy with who I'm shaping myself to be.

I hope you all had a lovely Valentine's Day. If you're with your love, I hope you two share one extra kiss than usual. And if you're alone, I'm right here with you. And it's not such a bad thing! Pour yourself a glass of wine and intoxicate yourself with self love.

Until next time! Goodnight!

XO,
Dan