What I'm wearing: Fedora | Zara // Blouse | American Eagle // Jeans | Forever 21 // Boots | Zara
This is not so much a post about style or an outfit. This isn't a lookbook or a promo for my latest YouTube video. This post is just a reflection. You're more than welcome to skip this disregard this post, but for those of you who follow me but don't really know much about me, go on and continue!
Tomorrow is my first day of my senior year of college. And it's so strange to me that this is my last first day of school ever. (Well, it's supposed to be, but with how hard it is to get classes these days, who knows :| ) Now suddenly, I'm having all these flashbacks at all the significant moments in my life that I believe have led me to where I am now. For those who don't know, I attend California State University of Northridge (CSUN). I started college as a Psychology major mainly because psychology was the only subject in high school that I ever had any interest in learning about. I don't think of myself as an academically successful person at all. I just never had any interest in any subjects offered at school. I was never specifically excellent at one particular subject. My best subject was English, yet I still wasn't exactly the best student and I did struggle. The only thing that I think got me by was the fact that I was kinda good at bullshitting a good essay.
Moving on. The first significant moment I remember was back in my junior year of high school, which I believe was in 2011. A representative from FIDM came to my history class to speak about their school and give a history lesson. Since FIDM is a fashion school, we learned about different fashion trends through history. This was absolutely magnificent to me. I HATE history. And this lecture blew me away, and I was totally enjoying ever minute of it. I felt like I was strange for being so excited about this school and this lecture because everyone else in my class thought that it was dumb to be learning about fashion trends. So, at the end of class, when the FIDM instructor asked if anyone would be interested in attending this school, no one raised their hand. No one. Not even me. Because even though I so badly wanted to raise my hand and go to this school, I was too shy to be the only one to raise her hand. So I smiled at the (rather handsome) instructor in his fashionable suit and I politely left.
Skip to my first year of college. I enrolled as a Psychology major. This was because I didn't know that CSUN offered a fashion design and merchandising major. The major is small and most students on campus have never heard of it. So of course, being a new coming student, I had no idea what to expect. Psychology seemed like the most interesting major that I could get that my parents would approve of so I went for it. And I enjoyed it for the first two years of college. And I still do love psychology. But there came a point where I was sad all the time because I was missing a spark. Nothing was fun. I couldn't see myself becoming a psychologist or a counselor. So I automatically knew something was wrong and something was missing from me. And I became very very sad. All the time. I knew I had to change something.
SO, after much research, I finally discovered that my dad's major at CSUN was Family and Consumer Sciences. Which had different options including Fashion Design and Fashion Merchandising. I quickly jumped on board for this major. I knew this was what I wanted deep down in my heart but I was very afraid that my parents would disapprove of this career path since my parents have had backgrounds in the medical field and the nutrition and dietetics field. But I went for it anyway. I remember sitting at dinner and telling my parents my decision to switch my major to fashion. And I remember feeling so grateful and so happy that I got their 100% support.
I remember waiting in the counselor's office for hours to get a walk in appointment to discuss the matters. I remember seeing the fashion students walking through the halls, discussing their exams and design classes. I felt like I really did belong there and I wanted to meet all these people as soon as I could. I remember being in that office all day. Running reports, signing and stamping papers, planning new classes. But when it was all done, I felt so relieved. I finally felt like I could be happy and start a new path to happiness.
I'm so grateful and proud of myself for taking those steps. Because if I didn't, I would still be so unhappy and so confused with what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Ever since I started this path, I've just been discovering more and more about myself.
I never knew where I belonged, what I was good at, or what made me happy until now. Now, I've got this wonderful blog, a growing YouTube channel, a position as a photographer and columnist for a wonderful online magazine, and now a new internship as a style guru. It's all been slowly coming together and I'm proud.
I've still got a shit ton of things to work out for myself, but I'm not lost anymore. And to me, that's a pretty damn good accomplishment.
Here's to a new school year. The last year.
Thanks for keeping up with me. See you all soon.
XO,
Danica
